The Good Kind of Selfish

At the end of the day, it really just comes down to you. It comes down to you being able to determine what it is you want. And then acknowledging your decision as valuable and important. That making a decision about what you want is the good kind of selfish because it is driven by your self-worth.

I think sometimes we believe we can't make a decision about what we want because that means that somebody else may not get what they want. We tend to think or were taught that in order to be a kind, loving, sacrificial human being, everyone else needs to be able to get what they want. This, in turn, means we sacrifice or give up our own needs and wants. But the older I get the more I am realizing that unless I am pursuing what I want I will not have the capacity to serve anyone else. It’s starting to make more sense why flight attendants instruct you to put your own oxygen mask on first.

Have you ever had the feeling, like if you just keep taking care of everyone else, if you just keep giving them what they want, if you just keep saying no to all of your dreams and yes to everybody else's then surely someday your day will come along? That if you can somehow build a life based on the ability to make sure that everybody else is satisfied that somehow you have magically become satisfied?

I don't think it works that way. I don't think that it's on us to make sure that we sacrifice ourselves for the good of someone else in order to be fulfilled. Do I believe that we can serve and should help others? Yes. I think our ability to serve should come out of the overflow of who we are. The goodness that we know is true about ourselves should be our fuel. I’ve found that when we are pursuing what we want, that is when we have the greatest capacity to grab others and bring them with us.

Where are you connected? Is there a community of those connections that are pushing you? Where are you going to just keep swimming in the right direction in order to pursue what you want?

I believe that if we did that every single day, and ask those questions to ourselves, not only would we wake up in a place we never imagined six months from now but we will be surrounded by a group of people that cared for us, loved us, and appreciated us for who we were not what we were able to do for them.

Just keep swimming, friend.