Two Truths and a Lie

No, not the game you play to break the ice and get to know someone. Moreso the concept of, just because something is true doesn’t me the opposite has to be a lie. Bear with me here.

This philosophy came to me along with the idea of people-pleasing. It seems to me, that building meaningful relationships and letting go of our people-pleasing tendencies comes down to this idea.

Two truths and a lie.

Can we both desire for someone to like us and simultaneously build a genuine connection? Can we both say “I don’t care what you think” and simultaneously “I care about what you think”? Can we have strict boundaries with someone and simultaneously love them deeply? Can we stand up for ourselves and what we believe while simultaneously honoring others?

It doesn't have to be “this or that”, it is can be and usually is “and”.

A lot of have a tendency to be black and white. We spend an exorbitant amount of time trying to choose the singular correct answer. If one thing is true then, we tend to believe, the opposite thing must be false. I like to refer to this as, two truths and a lie. The two truths are that both sides of the coin exist and are valuable. The lie is that we can only ever believe that one is true.

Take one of the examples from above, can we both say “I don’t care what you think” and simultaneously “I care about what you think”? Yes, we can! I think for most of us, our reaction is going to be no, you can’t say both at the same time. But here’s where I want to push in. You can say both. Not only can you say both, but there is freedom and deep connection with ourselves and with others when we can recognize both truths. They are both good, they are both real. We can let go of the lie and find the freedom in allowing two true things to exist at once.