The Good Kind of Selfish

Self-worth is not selfish. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to repeat this to myself. I don't know if it was the evangelical upbringing, if it was just a cultural norm of trying to be a chivalrous servant or somehow the wires just got crossed for me, but I can tell you it takes a lot of work to really sit in this truth.

And I know that that’s true for many of us. We’ve been convinced that our ability to care for our self somehow becomes selfish. I guess there's enough messages out there about being a narcissist or being self involved or somehow only caring about yourself that we forget that in order to care for anyone else we have to care for our self. For many of us this looks like a variety of things that we can possibly do in order to not only care for ourselves but have the ability to see our own self-worth. Before we can jump into what we do, our profession or what we have the capacity to do for somebody else, I believe we must identify what in particular makes us worthy.

I believe you are valuable for who you are before your hands and feet ever move. Does that mean that we can sit around, be lazy and accomplish nothing over the course of our life and still say that we are valuable? I would argue that the answer is yes. That your worth as a human, the dignity you carry because of the fact that you are alive, is with you at all times. Where I think it gets fun, interesting, and our life begins to be full of purpose is where we start to use this worth and value to create good in the world. That’s the good kind of selfish. Knowing your self, your strengths, your goodness, and using it for good.

So I want you to consider, what words would you use to describe your self-worth? When you think about yourself, see yourself in the mirror or in a quick reflection as you walk past your favorite coffee shop, what are the first words that come to mind. Are they positive? Are they negative? Do you actually consider who you are, what that means and where you have a chance to create good?

Well friend, I can say with the upmost confidence, I believe you are good. I believe you are valuable and my hope for you is that as you continue to dive into the work for yourself, you see the same goodness in the mirror that we see when we look at you.