We Can Do Hard Things

Let me say that again. YOU can do hard things.

Allow me to paint a picture. I was 35 years old, had a good business, and a healthy marriage. I had a great community and two kids I was in love with. And yet, something was missing. I wasn’t quite sure what it was but I knew that I needed depth. I longed for deep connection, honest accountably, and most of all, a best friend. I realize that can sound childish and lame. That the idea of a grown man wanting or even needing a relationship like that with another man can seem like such a petty thing. But friend, I was in need. I was in need of a friendship what was filled with mutual respect and similar desires.

So, I called up a good friend of mine and asked if he wanted to meet for lunch. You know, the typical dude-bro lunch date with tacos and margs. We had eaten all of our food and were just about get up when I asked him if he had 5 more minutes to talk.

I'm sure you can imagine how awkward this moment felt. I had been avoiding what I wanted to talk about and second-guessing what to say or how to say it. He looked at me a little oddly and sat back down to hear what I had to say. As tears welled up in my eyes, I looked at him and finally just blurted it out, “Do you want to be my best friend?” After which I basically blacked out. Ok, not really but the silence that followed seemed to last a full minute.

Then, after what was more likely a 3 second pause, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Yes, I would love that.” And the rest, as they say, is history. And by history I mean, lots and lots of hard work. I tell you this story to provide an example to a statement I know to be true: YOU can do hard things. We can do hard things, and we must do hard things. At 35, I never expected to sit across from another dude with tears in my eyes and ask for a best friend, but that's exactly what I needed to do.

Doing hard things is just that, hard. I get it.

But choosing easy, choosing safe, choosing comfortable jeopardizes your convictions. Do you want a deeper relationship with your spouse? Do you want to enjoy your job more? Do you want to live a more fulfilled life? Then let's do the hard work to get there. Doing hard things is about being willing.

We need to be people that are willing to stand up, willing to speak up because our willingness to do the hard things is what build others up and allows us to love well. We have to be willing to break the cycles. It takes vulnerability, honesty, and perseverance. It takes hard work. But! We can do it. If you hear one thing from me, hear this: you can do hard things.

What are you no longer willing to jeopardize for temporary comfort? What hard thing do you need to do? What is the next step will you take? What action item will you add to your to-do list today that puts you a step closer to building a life true to your convictions?