What Happens When You Assume?

We all know what happens when you assume. Assumptions lead to misunderstandings. The reality is, in my 15 years of experience, more often than not when an assumption is made about somebody else in a relationship it typically always leads to some type of misunderstanding. So what do we do if we want to avoid misunderstandings? What do we do if we want to avoid the unnecessary conflict that is so often present in relationships? We assume positive intent. So many of us are so conditioned to live reactively where we are consistently protecting ourselves because we are afraid that someone is going to get us, that we never give our self the space and the freedom to assume positive intent.

I bet the people that you desire to build a relationship with really do care about you. Despite how you might have convinced yourself otherwise. I bet they love you. I bet they want what is good for you. And in the end we inevitably ruin that by assuming negative intent. I think when we allow ourselves to assume positive intent, it leads us to our next goal. And that would be to communicate the good that we see.

So often we just make the assumption that the good that we see and other people does it need to be communicated because, well, we just assume they already know. But have you ever had someone tell you the good that they see in you and you were upset about it? Have you ever had somebody tell you how much they care for you, love you and how great of a person you are and ever felt like you just wish they didn’t say it? The reality is that for most of us, the answer is no. So, what can you do to communicate the good that you see?

How would your relationships change if you started assuming positive intent? What can you do to practice assuming positive intent? What can you do to give your self the opportunity and freedom to believe that they actually see the good in you. Think of someone you care about. Whoever came first to mind, what is it that makes them good? When was the last time you told them that? How would your relationship change if you communicated the good you see?

When we allow ourselves to assume positive intent and communicate a good we see we find ourselves deepening the relationships we care about.